Download and read online Let Me Off at the Top in PDF and EPUB Ron Burgundy is known to all as the lead anchorman of San Diego's award-winning Action 4 News Team and anchor of the first 24-hour news channel, GNN (Global News Network), but few know the real man behind the news desk. In LET ME OFF AT THE TOP! My Classy Life and Other Musings he will share never-before-told stories of his childhood and the events that led him to choose a career in the news business. He will offer a rare glimpse behind the camera into the real life of a man many consider to be our greatest living news anchor. In his own words, he will share personal anecdotes about the women in his life, about his dog, Baxter, and his legendary news team. Along the way, he'll also give sage advice on a variety of topics that matter most to him. The long wait is over. Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in this widely anticipated, fully authorized tell-all autobiography.
Download and read online Let Me Off at the Top in PDF and EPUB The autobiography everyone has been waiting for: a shockingly candid and raw confessional from an international treasure. The world’s most trusted and beloved television News Anchor, Ron Burgundy, pulls no punches in Let Me Off at the Top! Burgundy tells the tale of his humble beginnings in a desolate Iowa coal-mining town to his years at Our Lady Queen of Chewbacca High School to his odds-defying climb to the dizzying heights of Anchordom. In his very own words Burgundy reveals his most private thoughts, his triumphs – and his disappointments. His life reads like an adventure story complete with knock-down fights, beautiful women and double-fisted excitement on every page. He has hunted jackalopes with Bobby Kennedy and Peter Lawford, had more than his share of amorous exploits and formed the greatest on-air team in the history of televised news. Along the way, he’s hobnobbed with people you wish you knew and some you honestly wish you didn’t— celebrities, presidents, presidents’ wives, celebrities’ wives, dogs and, of course, Veronica Corningstone, the love of his life. Who didn’t Mr. Burgundy, or ‘Ron’, as he is known to his friends, rub elbows with in the course of his colourful and often criminal life? This may well be the most thrilling book ever written, by a man of great physical, moral and spiritual strength and, not surprisingly, a great literary talent as well. We owe it to him, and to ourselves, to read it. With never-before-seen photographs. Some in colour!
Download and read online Let Me Off at the Top in PDF and EPUB The autobiography every true American has been waiting for: a shockingly candid and raw confessional from a national treasure. From his humble beginnings in a desolate Iowa coal mining town, his years at Our Lady Queen of Chewbacca High School to his odds-defying climb to the dizzying heights of becoming America’s most trusted and beloved television News Anchor, Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in Let Me Off at the Top! In his very own words Burgundy reveals his most private thoughts, his triumphs and his disappointments. His life reads like an adventure story complete with knock down fights, beautiful women and double-fisted excitement on every page. He has hunted jackalopes with Bobby Kennedy and Peter Lawford, had more than his share of his amorous exploits, and formed the greatest on-air team in the history of televised news. Along the way, he hobnobbed with people you wish you knew and some you honestly wish you didn't -- celebrities, presidents, presidents' wives, celebrities' wives, dogs, and, of course Veronica Corningstone, the love of his life. Walter Cronkite, Barbra Streisand, Katie Couric, the list goes on. Who didn’t Mr. Burgundy, or “Ron” as he is known to his friends, rub elbows with in the course of his colorful and often criminal life? This may well be the most thrilling book ever written, by a man of great physical, moral and spiritual strength and not surprisingly a great literary talent as well. This book deserves a real shot at a Pulitzer Prize. In fact if it doesn’t win one then we will finally have proof that the Pulitzer is rigged. Ron Burgundy has taken the time to write a book. We owe it to him, as honest Americans, to read it.
Download and read online Will Ferrell Staying Classy The Biography in PDF and EPUB He's the man who made millions laugh with a twitch of his perfectly coiffured moustache and rebooted the Internet's funny bone as one of the masterminds behind the comedy trove, FunnyOrDie.If there is comedy to be mined, you can be sure Will Ferrell will find it. From playing the school joker as a young boy to shake off the trauma of his parents' divorce to becoming one the world's most bankable movie stars, Will has always used comedy as a way to bring happiness to others. He doesn't care if you laugh at him or with him - if you're laughing at all, then he's done his job.This must-read biography of Will Ferrell explores his early days on famed US variety show Saturday Night Live and also charts Will's transition from quirky support character to being one of the world's biggest comedy stars - thanks to films like Elf, The Other Guys and, of course, a certain little-known anchorman from San Diego.Read Will Ferrell: The Biography if you want to stay classy!
Download and read online Animals Talking in All Caps in PDF and EPUB A goat who wants to sell you some meth. A giraffe who might be violating his restraining order. An alpaca with a very dirty secret. A cat who’s really mad at you for cancelling Netflix instant. These are just a few of the hilariously human animals you’ll meet in Animals Talking in All Caps. Inspired by the wildly popular blog of the same name and including some of the site’s best-loved entries as well as gobs of never-before-seen material, these pages provide a brilliantly unhinged glimpse into the animal mind.
Download and read online The Top Five Regrets of the Dying in PDF and EPUB After too many years of unfulfilling work, Bronnie Ware began searching for a job with heart. Despite having no formal qualifications or experience, she found herself working in palliative care. Over the years she spent tending to the needs of those who were dying, Bronnie's life was transformed. Later, she wrote an Internet blog about the most common regrets expressed to her by the people she had cared for. The article, also called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, gained so much momentum that it was read by more than three million people around the globe in its first year. At the requests o.
Download and read online The Modern Drunkard in PDF and EPUB Attempting to deconstruct America's joyless obsession with sobriety, The Modern Drunkard offers today's befuddled drinkers a comprehensive and instructive manual on the delights of alcohol culture, how to be a good drunk, how to drink, and how to do it well. Through articles, anecdotes, cartoons, and illustrations pulled from our long and happy history of drinking alcohol, Frank Kelly Rich campaigns to revive the lost art of tippling and taps a deep vein of boozy lore and legend through the ages, uncovering etiquette and expertise from some of history's greatest guzzlers.
Download and read online How to Tell If You Boyfriend is the Antichrist in PDF and EPUB Let's face it--lust can seriously impair your judgement. It's hard enough for most women to meet a sane, single, straight specimen--who has time to psychoanalyze a hot new guy on the horizon? Enter award-winning illustrator Patricia Carlin's edgy, impulse-dating humour guide for the hip, young and urban.A cross between The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, it teaches women to identify the warning signs associated with a spectrum of Mr. Wrongs, from cult leaders to polygamists, Trekkies, zombies and slackers.
Download and read online Paddle Your Own Canoe in PDF and EPUB When it comes to growing a robust mustache, masticating red meat, building a chair, or wooing a woman, who better to educate you than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in carpentry, Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman’s childhood (born, literally, in the middle of an Illinois cornfield) to his theater days in Chicago to the, frankly, magnificent seduction of his wife, Megan Mullally. Offerman also shares his hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, styles, and religion, and invaluable advice on getting the utmost pleasure out of woodworking, assorted meats, outdoor recreations, and other palatable entrees.
Download and read online Never Let Me Go in PDF and EPUB In one of the most memorable novels of recent years, Kazuo Ishiguro imagines the lives of a group of students growing up in a darkly skewered version of contemporary England. Narrated by Kathy, now 31, Never Let Me Go hauntingly dramatises her attempts to come to terms with her childhood at the seemingly idyllic Hailsham School, and with the fate that has always awaited her and her closest friends in the wider world. A story of love, friendship and memory, Never Let Me Go is charged throughout with a sense of the fragility of life. If you enjoyed Never Let Me Go, you might also like Ishiguro's The Remains of the Day, now available in Faber Modern Classics.
Download and read online Funny You Don t Look Like a Grandmother in PDF and EPUB Smart, warm, telling, and funny, Funny, Your Don't Look Like a Grandmother is the perfect bouquet for today's grandmother, that active and interesting woman who is old enough to be somebody's grandmother and young enough to run around the world. Lois Wyse's new book, charmingly illustrated by Lilla Rogers, is a collection of wit and wisdom for today's Nana, Grandma, Goo-Goo, or Gran. How can you recognize today's grandmother? Easy, says Wyse. The grandmother is the one who goes out more and complains less than her daughter. In the spirit of Erma Bombeck and Bill Cosby, Lois Wyse tells loving and amusing stories that illustrate the joys of contemporary grandmothering. According to Lois Wyse, "A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do." Contemporary grandmothers and their children and grandchildren will see themselves in these reflections of family life that include everything from how it feels to become a grandmother to gentle advice on parenting and career grandmothers. Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother is the first nontraditional book about grandmothers who may not look like grandmothers -- but who love as deeply as the generations of grannies who preceded them. From the Hardcover edition.
Download and read online How to Fight Presidents in PDF and EPUB Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea. As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence. And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.
Download and read online Don t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings in PDF and EPUB View our feature on Tyler Perry's Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings. In 2005, Tyler Perry took Hollywood by storm. The movie he wrote, produced, and starred in, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, opened number one at the box office and went on to gross more than $50 million. In its first week on sale, the DVD sold 2.4 million copies. At the same time, Perry was starring nightly across the country in a soldout stage show he'd also written, produced, and scored-Madea Goes to Jail-even as another one of his productions, Meet the Browns, was touring nationally. Every week in 2005, 35,000 people saw a Tyler Perry production. His second feature film, Madea's Family Reunion, opens in theaters in February 2006. Now, this triple-threat actor/playwright/director, has written his first book, and it features his most beloved, most irreverent creation: sixty-eight-year-old grandmother Madea Simmons. Madea is at the center of all of Tyler Perry's work, and she's always unfailingly outspoken, dead-on, and hilarious. But in Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings, Madea shares more than she ever has before- about herself, and about what she thinks of everyone around her. The topics inimitably covered by Madea (a term of endearment for "Mother Dear") include love and marriage, child-rearing, etiquette and neighborliness, beauty tips, health tips, financial tips, the Bible and the church, and, of course, gun care. She's brazen, feisty, and never at a loss for words, but at the heart of everything she says- and at the heart of all of Perry's work-is a resounding message of faith and forgiveness. Shockingly hilarious, surprisingly moving, and as rousing and inspiring as a great gospel show, Madea's words of wisdom, memories, and straight-up in-your-face advice will be cherished by Perry's numerous fans- and it all comes just in time for Mother's Day. Tyler Perry is about to take the publishing world by storm.
Download and read online The De Textbook in PDF and EPUB You are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.
Download and read online Love You Forever in PDF and EPUB As her son grows up from little boy to adult man, a mother secretly rocks him each night as he sleeps.