Download and read online Knock Knock How to Traumatize Your Children in PDF and EPUB
Download and read online How to Traumatize Your Children in PDF and EPUB While it's inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don't leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions--whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book will show you the way!
Download and read online Experimenting with Babies in PDF and EPUB Babies can be a joy—and hard work. Now, they can also be a 50-in-1 science project kit! This fascinating and hands-on guide shows you how to re-create landmark scientific studies on cognitive, motor, language, and behavioral development—using your own bundle of joy as the research subject. Simple, engaging, and fun for both baby and parent, each project sheds light on how your baby is acquiring new skills—everything from recognizing faces, voices, and shapes to understanding new words, learning to walk, and even distinguishing between right and wrong. Whether your little research subject is a newborn, a few months old, or a toddler, these simple, surprising projects will help you see the world through your baby’s eyes—and discover ways to strengthen newly acquired skills during your everyday interactions.
Download and read online Safe Baby Handling Tips in PDF and EPUB A hilarious parenting book illustrated with pictures.
Download and read online Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation in PDF and EPUB Popular actress and stand-up comedienne Elizabeth Beckwith gives us the parenting guide to end all parenting guides: Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation. A frequent guest on The Late, Late Show and one of seven comics featured in the Time magazine article, “Funny: The Next Generation,” Beckwith now puts forth a hilarious new parenting philosophy that would shock Dr. Spock and traumatize T. Berry Brazelton. Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation is a riotously irreverent take on contemporary child rearing.
Download and read online All My Friends Are Dead in PDF and EPUB If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.
Download and read online How to Swear Around the World in PDF and EPUB This essential phrasebook collects the most colorful, explicit, and outrageous ways to tell people off in every part of the world. Featuring dozens of different languages, the sayings range from everyday swears to family curses to expressions for X-rated relations with animals. Phonetic pronunciation is provided so that readers can curse like a native, and handy illustrations provide visual guides to these foreign exclamations. Perfect for the international traveler who may need to wish an enemy a painful death, insult a person's grandmother, or accuse someone's mother of having intimate relations with bears in the forest.
Download and read online Toddlers Are A holes in PDF and EPUB Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
Download and read online Lies They Teach in School in PDF and EPUB It is a cliché that history is written by the victors, but what we accept as history is replete with stories of great men and events that either never happened or didn’t happen the way we were told they did. Such items are taught in schools. They are passed down to us by our families and friends and have become part of our shared cultural knowledge. And they are wrong. Touching on a number of topics— including history, current events, government, sports, geography, and popular culture—Lies They Teach in School exposes errors that have been perpetuated for far too long. It will enlighten and entertain. It will certainly start a number of arguments, and settle a few others.
Download and read online Parenting Is Easy in PDF and EPUB Imagine a world where pregnant women are always upbeat and glowing, newborns sleep on cue, toddlers love to have their teeth brushed, and teenagers gaze adoringly at their parents. Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.
Download and read online Objects of Desire in PDF and EPUB The world of erotic product design is revealed in this curated showcase of over 100 beautifully crafted objects and the creative minds behind them. The latest adult toys, jewelry, and accessories from leading companies, as well as intriguing prototypes, are featured. Each product, from high-tech gadgets to handcrafted pieces of art, is presented with concise descriptions in a minimal graphic format that emphasizes the flowing curves, materiality, and overall design of the products. Once taboo, sex toys are in the midst of a design revolution. Including a foreword by Sarah Forbes, curator at New York City s Museum of Sex, and in-depth interviews with leading sex bloggers, shop owners, and designers, the book will appeal to both fans of good design as well as "lovers" of good design interested in acquiring these pieces for their own collections."
Download and read online Go the Fuck to Sleep in PDF and EPUB Go the Fuck to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate and refreshingly honest, it captures the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your child to bed for the night. Colourfully illustrated and hilariously funny, this is a breath of fresh air for parents new, old, and expectant*. (*You should probably not read this to your children.)
Download and read online Grimm s Complete Fairy Tales in PDF and EPUB More than 200 tales by Brothers Grimm.
Download and read online You Have to Fucking Eat in PDF and EPUB From the author of the international best seller GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP comes a book about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving mums and dads new, old, grand- and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. You probably shouldn't read it to your children.
Download and read online Home Cookin with Dave s Mom in PDF and EPUB The mother of "Late Show" host David Letterman offers recipes from her own kitchen and from family members, and includes practical kitchen tips and photographs from the Letterman family album