Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB Long gone are the good old days when a cat's biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETY answers crucial questions such as, 'What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?' and 'What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?' and especially 'Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can't he just play with yarn like cats used to do?' America - and our cats - stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats - and America - great again!
Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!
Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB "Based on three 'zines that have collectively sold 35,000 copies, a parody guidebook for people to use to teach their cats about gun safety, abstinence, evolution, and other important right-wing concerns, which crosses the whimsy of Cat Fancy with the paranoia of a Chick Tract"--
Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB An informational pamphlet about talking to your cat about gun safety
Download and read online How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You in PDF and EPUB Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!
Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat in PDF and EPUB Find out what your cat is really saying -- and talk back! Jean Craighead George, Newbery Medal-winning author of over 80 books about nature and animals, demonstrates in words and photos how to communicate with that ever-mysterious, ever-lovable animal -- the cat.
Download and read online Cat Castles in PDF and EPUB Build your cat “paw-some” homemade habitats with easy instructions and common materials. Shoeboxes and paper bags are fine for other cats. But your favorite felines deserve luxurious living spaces! This DIY construction guide includes fun and easy instructions for making cardboard trains, ships, food trucks, rockets, and other hideouts. Also included are tips for climbing towers and scratching pads that they can use to stay sharp. All twenty projects are quick to assemble and require inexpensive and easy-to-find materials. You can customize them to match your cat’s wildest desires! From the Trade Paperback edition.
Download and read online I Could Pee on This in PDF and EPUB Cat lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of housecats. In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).
Download and read online A Field Guide to the Aliens of Star Trek in PDF and EPUB ONE KID'S CONTINUING MISSION: CATALOG ALL ALIEN LIFE FROM STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. These are the voyages of Joshua Chapman. In 1990 at 11 years old, he wrote a field guide to the alien races of Star Trek: The Next Generation season one for school. He continued the project through his awkward teen years and into reluctant adulthood. Boldly go from season to season and learn about Star Trek: TNG aliens, from Acamarians to Zibalians. Explore strange new feelings, like Joshua's obsession with Data, and Joshua's angst toward his mother, who's more terrifying than a Yridian's face. Engage... with humanity at its weirdest.
Download and read online Fire Is Your Water in PDF and EPUB Sacred chants are Ada Franklin’s power and her medicine. By saying them, she can remove warts, stanch bleeding, and draw the fire from burns. At age twenty, her reputation as a faith healer defines her in her rural Pennsylvania community. But on the day in 1953 that her family’s barn is consumed by flame, her identity as a healer is upended. The heat, the roar of the blaze, and the bellows of the trapped cows change Ada. For the first time, she fears death and—for the first time—she doubts God. With her belief goes her power to heal. Then Ada meets an agnostic named Will Burk and his pet raven, Cicero. Fire Is Your Water is acclaimed memoirist Jim Minick’s first novel. Built on magical realism and social observation in equal measure, it never gives way to sentimentality and provides an insider’s glimpse into the culture of Appalachia. A jealous raven, a Greek chorus of one, punctuates the story with its judgments on the characters and their actions, until a tragic accident brings Ada and Will together in a deeper connection.
Download and read online Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed and Other Heartwarming Letters from Kitty in PDF and EPUB Inside Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of laugh-out-loud letters and photographs that offer a cat's eye view on common feline vs. human cohabitation conundrums. It's the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into cat—and human—nature, including: Your cat sits on your laptop not just for warmth or attention, but to prevent you from interacting with the outside world. After all, isn’t the main reason to have a cat so you don’t have to waste time developing normal human relationships? If you spent a third of your life licking yourself, you too would occasionally forget to stick your tongue back in your face. Eating grass has medicinal purposes, and most cats believe grass should be legalized. The cat feels bad about barfing on your bed…because now it must get to up to go sleep on your clean laundry instead.
Download and read online How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack in PDF and EPUB There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Download and read online Crafting with Cat Hair in PDF and EPUB Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!
Download and read online All Black Cats are Not Alike in PDF and EPUB Every cat owner knows that no two cats are alike. This pitch-perfect illustrated book proves this simple fact by diving whiskers first into the unique personality, charisma, and character of 50 real all-black cats. From Alfie, who "has no tolerance for wet humans or being ignored," to Sashi, who "enjoys freeze-dried chicken by candlelight and full-on body rubs," each cat comes to life through a lovingly hand-drawn portrait and quick-witted profile. Delightfully quirky and utterly charming, this motley crew of black cats will win over anyone with a dry sense of humor.
Download and read online But You re a Horse in PDF and EPUB As featured in The Guardian. From the internet mischief-maker who brought you the "Knock Knock Hijack," in which he ran away with a friend's Facebook joke to hilarious effect, and "Hotel Graffiti," a series of peculiar messages hidden in hotel rooms around the world, comes "But... You're a Horse," a collection of pranks, anecdotes and gags that have nothing whatsoever to do with the cover of the book containing them. David Bussell's work has been featured in The Telegraph, The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, B3TA, Digital Spy, and (quite without his permission) The Daily Mail. Things people have said about David Bussell: "Hilarious" Graham Linehan (Father Ted, The IT Crowd). "Really good" Shane Allen (BBC Controller of Comedy Commissioning). "Ha " Sam Bain (Peep Show, Fresh Meat).