Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!
Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB "Based on three 'zines that have collectively sold 35,000 copies, a parody guidebook for people to use to teach their cats about gun safety, abstinence, evolution, and other important right-wing concerns, which crosses the whimsy of Cat Fancy with the paranoia of a Chick Tract"--
Download and read online How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety in PDF and EPUB An informational pamphlet about talking to your cat about gun safety
Download and read online How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You in PDF and EPUB Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!
Download and read online Cat Castles in PDF and EPUB Build your cat “paw-some” homemade habitats with easy instructions and common materials. Shoeboxes and paper bags are fine for other cats. But your favorite felines deserve luxurious living spaces! This DIY construction guide includes fun and easy instructions for making cardboard trains, ships, food trucks, rockets, and other hideouts. Also included are tips for climbing towers and scratching pads that they can use to stay sharp. All twenty projects are quick to assemble and require inexpensive and easy-to-find materials. You can customize them to match your cat’s wildest desires! From the Trade Paperback edition.
Download and read online Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too in PDF and EPUB Michael Showalter’s Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too is the hilarious all-access guide to help a man comprehend, appreciate, and bond with the felines in his life. They say dogs are a man’s best friend. True! But what if that man’s girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, or mother-in-law has a cat? Is that the end for him? Is he resigned to an eternity of estrangement from this furry creature with which he shares his life partner, his favorite chair, and his sock drawer? Showalter offers hope for men everywhere in their quest to understand and love cats. In this intimate portrait of one man’s love for cats, you will learn the answers to burning questions such as: “Why are they all aloof and weird and stuff?”; “They hate me, right?”; and “Is it true that they have nine lives?” Armed with these and countless other valuable lessons, by the book’s end any guy can be on the fast track to becoming a cat’s best friend. Praise for Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too: “Deep stuff is decorated by fabulously absurd humor.” —Catster.com “So what have your cats taught you about loving yourself?” Michael Showalter: “Not a lot, I’ll be honest.” —Esquire.com “Fabulously illustrated.” —Entertainment Weekly
Download and read online I Could Pee on This in PDF and EPUB A collection of humorous poems delves into the cat psyche, covering such topics as separation anxiety, scratching at closed doors, and trips to the veterinarian.
Download and read online Of Cats and Men in PDF and EPUB A stylish, illustrated gift book profiling notable cat-loving men throughout history. Some of history’s greatest men have been cat lovers, and their cats have contributed to their genius and legacy: the static charge from a cat’s fur sparked young Nikola Tesla’s interest in electricity; Sir Isaac Newton is said to have invited the first cat flap; visitors to Ernest Hemingway and Winston Churchill’s homes still encounter the descendants of their beloved cats; William S. Burroughs and Andy Warhol both wrote books inspired by their feline friends. Stylishly illustrated and full of charming, witty profiles and quotes from history’s most notable “cat men,” Of Cats and Men pays tribute to thirty luminaries and visionaries who have one thing in common: a pure and enduring love of cats.
Download and read online How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack in PDF and EPUB There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Download and read online Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed and Other Heartwarming Letters from Kitty in PDF and EPUB Inside Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of laugh-out-loud letters and photographs that offer a cat's eye view on common feline vs. human cohabitation conundrums. It's the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into cat—and human—nature, including: Your cat sits on your laptop not just for warmth or attention, but to prevent you from interacting with the outside world. After all, isn’t the main reason to have a cat so you don’t have to waste time developing normal human relationships? If you spent a third of your life licking yourself, you too would occasionally forget to stick your tongue back in your face. Eating grass has medicinal purposes, and most cats believe grass should be legalized. The cat feels bad about barfing on your bed…because now it must get to up to go sleep on your clean laundry instead.
Download and read online But You re a Horse in PDF and EPUB As featured in The Guardian. From the internet mischief-maker who brought you the "Knock Knock Hijack," in which he ran away with a friend's Facebook joke to hilarious effect, and "Hotel Graffiti," a series of peculiar messages hidden in hotel rooms around the world, comes "But... You're a Horse," a collection of pranks, anecdotes and gags that have nothing whatsoever to do with the cover of the book containing them. David Bussell's work has been featured in The Telegraph, The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, B3TA, Digital Spy, and (quite without his permission) The Daily Mail. Things people have said about David Bussell: "Hilarious" Graham Linehan (Father Ted, The IT Crowd). "Really good" Shane Allen (BBC Controller of Comedy Commissioning). "Ha " Sam Bain (Peep Show, Fresh Meat).
Download and read online How to Avoid Huge Ships in PDF and EPUB You are the owner-captain of a luxury fifty-foot trawler motoring across the bay with your family and a few friends one balmy summer evening. Off in the distance, beyond the bridge spanning the waterway, you can make out the lights and shape of a containership moving down the channel. Have you ever wondered what action you must take to keep clear of that fast-approaching ship? This book will tell you how to do so quickly. Conscientious skippers are wise to read this book and discover if a ship's radar will pick up a small boat at night. It is fascinating to learn what is taking place on the bridge or down in the engine room of one of these leviathans as it heads your way. Can it be stopped before it hits you? Learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones by reading this book written for the private boat owner/captain.
Download and read online Meow in PDF and EPUB Cats have a way of walking into our lives and making themselves right at home. No cat lover can imagine life without a feline presence -- even if it is only as fleeting as the occasional conversation with a neighbourhood stray. Meow: A book of happiness for cat lovers is a compendium of delightful quotes that capture the essence of this fascination. Some are by famous people (Mark Twain, Jean Cocteau, Ernest Hemingway), others not; some are philosophical, others lighthearted -- all are memorable. Accompanied by beautiful photography, and presented in a high-quality gift format, this is a collection of quotes to treasure.
Download and read online A Field Guide to the Aliens of Star Trek in PDF and EPUB ONE KID'S CONTINUING MISSION: CATALOG ALL ALIEN LIFE FROM STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. These are the voyages of Joshua Chapman. In 1990 at 11 years old, he wrote a field guide to the alien races of Star Trek: The Next Generation season one for school. He continued the project through his awkward teen years and into reluctant adulthood. Boldly go from season to season and learn about Star Trek: TNG aliens, from Acamarians to Zibalians. Explore strange new feelings, like Joshua's obsession with Data, and Joshua's angst toward his mother, who's more terrifying than a Yridian's face. Engage... with humanity at its weirdest.
Download and read online BatDad in PDF and EPUB Life as an everyday superhero when your Batmobile is a minivan, the villains you face are your crazy kids, and your Bat Cave is always covered in piles of dirty laundry. From the Hardcover edition.