Download and read online Dreamseller in PDF and EPUB “Skate, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll!”—Kat Von D, LA Ink Forward by Tony Hawk Skateboarder and Jackass star Brandon Novak comes clean about his crazy rise to fame, tailspin into addiction, and other death-defying stunts on the road to recovery... At seven, Brandon was a skateboard prodigy. By the time he was fourteen, he was living the dream. Discovered by skate legends Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. Touring the U.S. with the elite Powell-Peralta team. Signing autographs and appearing in films and magazines. Brandon had it all. Then he got hooked on heroin. Soon the up-and-coming star was living a down-and-out life in a garage, begging for change, and hustling to score his next fix. He stole from his family and friends. He pushed the fantasy that everything was okay, that he was going to rehab, getting help, and getting better. But it was all a lie. This is the story of an addict—a dreamseller who stopped believing the lies he was selling and started believing in himself. With the help of his celebrity buddy Bam Margera of Jackass fame, Brandon joined the cast of MTV’s Viva La Bam and made an honest reach for sobriety. The road was hard, and he had some falls. But like any great skateboarder, Brandon Novak was always determined to get up again . . . “Entertaining, shocking, crazy, unimaginable.”—Bam Margera With 24 pages of photos
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Download and read online Professional Idiot in PDF and EPUB "It's mind-blowing to me how utterly far gone Steve-O was, and how he looks back on it in this book with such intelligence, humor, and searing honesty. What a truly unbelievable life." --Johnny Knoxville From his early days videotaping crazy skateboard stunts to starring in the Jackass movies, there was little that Stephen "Steve-O" Glover wouldn't do. Whether it was stapling his nutsack to his leg or diving into a pool full of elephant crap, almost nothing was out of bounds. As the stunts got crazier, his life kept pace. He developed a crippling addiction to drugs and alcohol, and an obsession with his own celebrity that proved nearly as dangerous. Only an intervention and a visit to a psychiatric ward saved his life. Today he has been clean and sober for more than three years. Professional Idiot recounts the lunacy, the debauchery, the stunts, the drug addiction, and the path to recovery with bravado, humor, and heart. "A great book to read before you get on the roller coaster to hell, if you plan on surviving to tell about it like Steve-O did." --Nikki Sixx, author of The Heroin Diaries "This is the perfect book for people who hate reading." --Tommy Lee, author of Tommyland The feedback I've gotten on Facebook and Twitter from those of you who've read this book has been fascinating, heartwarming, and hilarious. I'm happy to keep answering your questions on there, and I encourage more of you to join in the discussion. Hope to hear from you soon, and thank you all so much. Love, Steve-O
Download and read online Chancers in PDF and EPUB In this powerful memoir of addiction, prison, and recovery, a reporter and a photographer tell their gripping story of falling in love, the heroin habit that drove them apart, and the unlikely way a criminal conviction brought them back together. Books for a Better Life Award Finalist • LitHub Best Book of the Month When Susan Stellin asked Graham MacIndoe to shoot her author photo for an upcoming travel book, she barely knew him except for a few weekends with mutual friends at a summer house in Montauk. He was a gregarious, divorced Scotsman who had recently gotten sober; she was an independent New Yorker who decided to take a chance on a rough-around-the-edges guy. But their relationship was soon tested when Susan discovered that Graham still had a drug habit he was hiding. From their harrowing portrayal of the ravages of addiction to the stunning chain of events that led to Graham’s arrest and imprisonment at Rikers Island, Chancers unfolds in alternating chapters that offer two perspectives on a relationship that ultimately endures against long odds. Susan follows Graham down the rabbit hole of the American criminal justice system, determined to keep him from becoming another casualty of the war on drugs. Graham gives a stark, riveting description of his slide from brownstone Brooklyn to a prison cell, his gut-wrenching efforts to get clean, and his fight to avoid getting exiled far away from his son and the life he built over twenty years. Beautifully written, brutally honest, yet filled with suspense and hope, Chancers will resonate with anyone who has been touched by the heartache of addiction, the nightmare of incarceration, or the tough choice of leaving or staying with someone who is struggling on the road to recovery. By sharing their story, Susan and Graham show the value of talking about topics many of us are too scared to address. Praise for Chancers “Stellin and MacIndoe, in entries sometimes akin to fighters in the ring, tell the story of their lives as MacIndoe rides a roller-coaster life of drug addiction and prison. . . . It is a remarkable nine-year parallel journey that forced them to bare their innermost thoughts and feelings, forced them to distance themselves and, finally, forced them to recognize that a life, even in the depths of despair, merits saving. . . . [Chancers] grabs in a voyeuristic way and propels page-turning to find out what happens next in a saga no soap opera could create.”—The Buffalo News “Emotionally resonant and evenly structured, their tandem chronicle resists overly romanticizing their bittersweet interactions to focus on the dedication and devotion necessary to make their already-complicated relationship survive the fallout of critical hardships. An emotionally complex and intensely personal binary memoir of addiction and sustainable love.”—Kirkus Reviews
Download and read online Serious as Dog Dirt in PDF and EPUB Bam Marger's personal writings, photos and drawings.
Download and read online Basketball Junkie in PDF and EPUB I was dead for thirty seconds. That's what the cop in Fall River told me. When the EMTs found me, there was a needle in my arm and a packet of heroin in the front seat. At basketball-crazy Durfee High School in Fall River, Massachusetts, junior guard Chris Herren carried his family's and the city's dreams on his skinny frame. His grandfather, father, and older brother had created their own sports legends in a declining city; he was the last, best hope for a career beyond the shuttered mills and factories. Herren was heavily recruited by major universities, chosen as a McDonald's All-American, featured in a Sports Illustrated cover story, and at just seventeen years old became the central figure in Fall River Dreams, an acclaimed book about the 1994 Durfee team's quest for the state championship. Leaving Fall River for college, Herren starred on Jerry Tarkanian's Fresno State Bulldogs team of talented misfits, which included future NBA players as well as future convicted felons. His gritty, tattooed, hip-hop persona drew the ire of rival fans and more national attention: Rolling Stone profiled him, 60 Minutes interviewed him, and the Denver Nuggets drafted him. When the Boston Celtics acquired his contract, he lived the dream of every Massachusetts kid—but off the court Herren was secretly crumbling, as his alcohol and drug use escalated and his life spiraled out of control. Twenty years later, Chris Herren was married to his high-school sweetheart, the father of three young children, and a heroin junkie. His basketball career was over, consumed by addictions; he had no job, no skills, and was a sadly familiar figure to those in Fall River who remembered him as a boy, now prowling the streets he once ruled, looking for a fix. One day, for a time he cannot remember, he would die. In his own words, Chris Herren tells how he nearly lost everything and everyone he loved, and how he found a way back to life. Powerful, honest, and dramatic, Basketball Junkie is a remarkable memoir, harrowing in its descent, and heartening in its return.
Download and read online Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man in PDF and EPUB What makes one of the most gifted, charismatic and successful literary agents in New York fall into full-blown crack-addiction: a collapse that would cost him his business, his home, many of his friends and - very nearly - his life? In his utterly compulsive narrative, Bill Clegg leads us through the grimiest back-rooms of Manhattan's underbelly, through scenes of blank-eyed sex and squalor, into the febrile paranoia of a mind gone out of control.
Download and read online Leaving Dirty Jersey in PDF and EPUB With his nickname, Dirty Jersey, tattooed on the inside of his left forearm, James Salant wanted everyone to know he was a tough guy. At the age of eighteen, after one too many run-ins with the cops for drug possession, he left his upper-middle-class home in Princeton, New Jersey, for a stint at a rehab facility in Riverside, California. Instead of getting clean, he spent his year there shooting crystal meth and living as a petty criminal among not-so-petty ones until a near psychotic episode (among other things) convinced him to clean up. In stark prose infused with heartbreaking insight, wicked humor, and complete veracity, Salant provides graphic descriptions of life on crystal meth -- the incredible sex drive, the paranoia, the cravings. He details the slang, the scams, and the psychoses, and weaves them into a narrative that is breathtakingly honest and authentic. Salant grapples with his attraction to the thuggish life, eschewing easy answers -- his parents, both therapists, were loving and supportive, and his family's subtle dysfunctions typical of almost any American family. Exploring the allure and effects of the least understood drug of our time, Leaving Dirty Jersey is that rarity among memoirs -- a compulsively readable, superbly told story that is shocking precisely because it could happen to almost anyone.
Download and read online Genius and Heroin in PDF and EPUB What is the price of brilliance? Why are so many creative geniuses also ruinously self-destructive? From Caravaggio to Jackson Pollack, from Arthur Rimbaud to Jack Kerouac, from Charlie Parker to Janis Joplin, to Kurt Cobain, and on and on, authors and artists throughout history have binged, pill-popped, injected, or poisoned themselves for their art. Fully illustrated and addictively readable, Genius and Heroin is the indispensable reference to the untidy lives of our greatest artists and thinkers, entertainingly chronicling how the notoriously creative lived and died—whether their ultimate downfalls were the result of opiates, alcohol, pot, absinthe, or the slow-motion suicide of obsession.
Download and read online The Dreamseller The Calling in PDF and EPUB Wherever he goes, the dreamseller enchants, stirs up trouble and inspires his listeners to search for the most important thing: the heart of the human soul. Every person he meets is someone who has abandoned their dreams and is struggling through life: a professor who has stopped pursuing his passions, an alcoholic who has no family, the elderly who have lost their zest for life. Through his questioning and wisdom, the dreamseller helps them to look into their silent hearts and get to the root of their unhappiness. The Dreamseller: The Calling is moving, entertaining and ultimately inspiring. This book will make you laugh and cry, but above all, it will make you reflect on the purpose of your life, value others and become empowered to believe in your dreams.
Download and read online S O B E R in PDF and EPUB While laying in an empty bathtub in a Motel 6 in Vermont, Mike takes a handful of OxyContin and waits for the heart palpitations to kill him. As he starts to fade he reads a text on his phone, "Son, I love you and I need to know that you're OK." Struggling to understand why anyone would care about him because of his years of drug abuse, he responds, "Mom, no one can help me." Then, in a moment of clarity, he decides he wants there to be a tomorrow and to be a part of his family again. He makes the call for help to his mother; the call that saves his life. S.O.B.E.R.*, an acronym for "Son Of a Bitch Everything's Real" describes the moment Anita Devlin and her son Mike realize that denying his addiction to pain pills is destroying him. It is the defining moment when they commit to the courageous fight to get their lives back. This is when their family's road to recovery begins. S.O.B.E.R.* offers a rare glimpse at the daily, all consuming relationship between family and addiction, told simultaneously from a mother's view and an addict's perspective. Everyone thinks Mike has it all because he is a star varsity lacrosse player, does well in school and is popular with the girls. However, Mike feels completely alone on the inside. When sports related surgeries introduce him to the world of pain pills, he uses them to mask his insecurities and spirals downward. Once in treatment, he learns that drugs are the least of his problems. The real problem is his mind. The drugs aren't making his demons disappear, they are only masking them and burying them down deeper. Mike is confident that he can be sober but he is not convinced that he can be sober and happy. Anita thinks that being a mother gives her the right to negotiate with God for her child. She sits in church and pleads, "God, I don't care what happens to me, please just take care of my son." She lets go of everything that makes her strong until she has nothing to hold on to but fear. She is afraid of what will happen if she focuses on anything but her son. This is an addiction itself. Anita becomes sick physically and spiritually. She is ashamed that she is afraid of what people will think instead of helping her only son, and she is faced with yet another hurdle... a confrontation with the truth that she herself needs to get healthy and learn to let go. We are allowed a glimpse into the family's recovery through powerful "cost" letters including one from Mike's sister and from the innocent voice of the family dog. Despite an avalanche of life's misfortunes, nothing else matters as long as they don't lose Mike. Anita, her husband Michael and their daughter Alex join forces with the Caron Treatment Center where "the patient is the family, and the family is the patient." "Addiction is an octopus" says Anita, "Whose tentacles wrap tightly around us all choking the life out of everyone in its way. The whole family needs to recover together."
Download and read online Dandy in the Underworld in PDF and EPUB With a childhood surrounded by alcoholism and petty cruelties, an adolescence of rebellion and punkish anarchy and an adulthood peppered with heroin addiction, voluntary crucifixion, failed suicide and a penchant for sex with prostitutes, Sebastian Horsley’s life was always destined to become a work of art. An artist, dandy and author who was perhaps best known for having undergone a voluntary crucifixion in the Philippines before beginning a regular column in The Erotic Review, Horsley’s memoirs focused on his dysfunctional family, his drug addictions, sex, and his love of prostitutes, and unsurprisingly became a cult literary sensation. Soho Theatre's theatrical version, has been adapted from Horsley’s no-holds-barred memoir and directed by fellow moral delinquent Tim Fountain. This insane tale of the prototype of modern day dandyism has now found its spiritual platform in the heart of the crazy village he likes to call home. Dandy In The Underworld premiered at Soho Theatre in the summer of 2010.
Download and read online The Upside of Fear in PDF and EPUB The author recounts his harrowing journey of self-discovery and how he went from being a drunk in a jail cell to the CEO of a multimillion-dollar business.
Download and read online Dreamland in PDF and EPUB Winner of the NBCC Award for General Nonfiction Named on Amazon's Best Books of the Year 2015--Michael Botticelli, U.S. Drug Czar (Politico) Favorite Book of the Year--Angus Deaton, Nobel Prize Economics (Bloomberg/WSJ) Best Books of 2015--Matt Bevin, Governor of Kentucky (WSJ) Books of the Year--Slate.com's 10 Best Books of 2015--Entertainment Weekly's 10 Best Books of 2015 --Buzzfeed's 19 Best Nonfiction Books of 2015--The Daily Beast's Best Big Idea Books of 2015--Seattle Times' Best Books of 2015--Boston Globe's Best Books of 2015--St. Louis Post-Dispatch's Best Books of 2015--The Guardian's The Best Book We Read All Year--Audible's Best Books of 2015--Texas Observer's Five Books We Loved in 2015--Chicago Public Library's Best Nonfiction Books of 2015 From a small town in Mexico to the boardrooms of Big Pharma, an explosive and shocking account of addiction and black tar heroin in the heartland of America. In 1929, in the blue-collar city of Portsmouth, Ohio, a company built a swimming pool the size of a football field; named Dreamland, it became the vital center of the community. Now, addiction has devastated Portsmouth, as it has hundreds of small rural towns and suburbs across America--addiction like no other the country has ever faced. How that happened is the riveting story of Dreamland. With a great reporter's narrative skill and the storytelling ability of a novelist, acclaimed journalist Sam Quinones weaves together two classic tales of capitalism run amok whose unintentional collision has been catastrophic. The unfettered prescribing of pain medications during the 1990s reached its peak in Purdue Pharma's campaign to market OxyContin, its new, expensive--extremely addictive--miracle painkiller. Meanwhile, a massive influx of black tar heroin--cheap, potent, and originating from one small county on Mexico's west coast, independent of any drug cartel--assaulted small town and mid-sized cities across the country, driven by a brilliant, almost unbeatable marketing and distribution system. Together these phenomena continue to lay waste to communities from Tennessee to Oregon, Indiana to New Mexico. Introducing a memorable cast of characters--pharma pioneers, young Mexican entrepreneurs, narcotics investigators, survivors, and parents--Quinones shows how these tales fit together. Dreamland is a revelatory account of the corrosive threat facing America and its heartland.
Download and read online How to Murder Your Life in PDF and EPUB From Cat Marnell, “New York’s enfant terrible” (The Telegraph), a candid and darkly humorous memoir of prescription drug addiction and self-sabotage, set in the glamorous world of fashion magazines and downtown nightclubs. At twenty-six, Cat Marnell was an associate beauty editor at Lucky, one of the top fashion magazines in America—and that’s all most people knew about her. But she hid a secret life. She was a prescription drug addict. She was also a “doctor shopper” who manipulated Upper East Side psychiatrists for pills, pills, and more pills; a lonely bulimic who spent hundreds of dollars a week on binge foods; a promiscuous party girl who danced barefoot on banquets; a weepy and hallucination-prone insomniac who would take anything—anything—to sleep. This is a tale of self-loathing, self-sabotage, and yes, self-tanner. It begins at a posh New England prep school—and with a prescription for Attention Deficit Disorder medication Ritalin. It continues to New York, where we follow Marnell’s amphetamine-fueled rise from intern to editor through the beauty departments of NYLON, Teen Vogue, Glamour, and Lucky. We see her fight between ambition and addiction and how, inevitably, her disease threatens everything she worked so hard to achieve. From the Condé Nast building (where she rides the elevator alongside Anna Wintour) to seedy nightclubs, from doctors’ offices and mental hospitals, Marnell shows—like no one else can—what it is like to live in the wild, chaotic, often sinister world of a young female addict who can’t say no. Combining lightning-rod subject matter and bold literary aspirations, How to Murder Your Life is mesmerizing, revelatory, and necessary.